I 100% believe in the power of the mind. It has the ability to create and destroy, manifest and mask. Just recently I realized that my thoughts started to warp how I viewed my decision to be a SAHM: “If I had a nanny I could..”, “If my son would just…”, “If I worked outside of the home then maybe…”. But I had to take a step back and appreciate all that staying home has brought into my life. Then, no lie, a few days later I came across this post in a mom group:“…Ever since then [having a baby] I felt like I’ve been playing by his “rules”. Last night I decided to get off my ass and clean. My son and I share a room so he was up with me. Anyway, I have the vacuum hose trying to get the crumbs and my little grabs the hose to help. Now I’m thinking this 5 min job is going to take 15 mins because he wants to join. I just really want to get this done.
Then something clicks:
•This little being of mine wouldn’t let me keep much down during my pregnancy.
•The first 2 days home he kept me up constantly.
•Our breastfeeding journey was a struggle from beginning to end.
•Sometimes when I’m sitting on the couch he slaps my phone out my hand.
•At times he has moments of frustration and meltdowns. •He’s constantly taking my hand and pulling me towards the door.
You see In the beginning I thought oh boy he’s going to be difficult, “testing” me if you will, but I have learned that’s not the case at all. Before I was pregnant I ate a lot of unhealthy food, because of him I was able to cut out red meats and pork and add more green and fresh food to my life. When he kept me up the first 2 nights it was a blessing in disguise, we would later learn that he couldn’t keep his temp and what saved him was constantly being in my arms. Breastfeeding him taught me how to stick out even when I wanted to throw in the towel. When he slaps my phone it’s a reminder to live in the moment. When he’s frustrated and on a verge of a meltdown I’ve learned to check my own emotions before guiding him. When he wants to go outside I’ve realized the outdoors lifts my spirits and gets me moving.
So you see my son is not difficult nor is he testing me, he doesn’t have these imaginary “rules” and even though it’s not his responsibility, my son has shown me a new way of life. I’ve become a better woman and mother (to all of my babies). Now I’ll happily spend the extra time to vacuum the floor with my son than to spend 5 mins doing it alone. I couldn’t imagine my life without him and these moments don’t last forever.
Pay attention to your littles even the tiniest ones give the biggest life lessons.”